About the Library of Rejected Beauty
and how you can submit your beautiful, but unloved, works
He stood on the shore and stared into the void. There was a lake out there, the largest in England, but it was hard to tell. A thick mist had rolled down from the fells overnight and the valley was filled with cotton wool. The steep, wooded slopes of the far bank were only half a mile away, but all he could see were the ripples at his feet, then a flat plain where water became air, the join invisible. The fog had eaten all sound. Gone was the usual bustle – the tourists, the traffic, the ever-hungry swans. In their place, silence. The hush of air through leaves. The faint splip-splip of the water on the shore. Then, weirdly, Read More
Putting his phone down on the counter with a slight shake of his head, he went to the autobiography section to inspect the most recent thud. A book lay open in the middle of the aisle. As he approached it, yawning, he saw a single word filling two pages in bold. He moved closer and the book spelled out ‘RUN’. Damn ghosts, man… he thought to himself as he put the book back in the empty space on the shelf. As he pushed the book back into position, the door chimed. Kevin shuddered at the sound. It was louder than usual. He made sure the book was in its place and rushed towards the counter. A young boy lurked around Read More
It’s important to have an angle. To really know what it is you’re selling. But in the end, I think it all came down to the tits. When the first series was being developed, they hadn’t even decided what kind of person they wanted to cast. I found that out at the end-of-shoot wrap party when a research manager’s PA showed me the list. She was drunk, and thought it was hysterical. Urban Buddhist: Not religious, promotes meditation, organic, etc. Will train somewhere India-like – has Sri Lanka been done? White male, 34-55. Possible strapline ‘Set your pulses racing’. Regional Jim: From Wales/Scotland/Ireland/the North, etc. Travels the country – think road trips with competitive element. Scope for sidekick, upper-class apprentice, Read More
Numerous friends and friends-of-friends have been nauseatingly productive during the lockdown. It’s awful. Scrolling through my social media right now is akin to attending the music halls of old. Tickets are free, the virtual playbill is crammed with resourceful comic turns and despite being a packed house there’s infinite standing room available. So here I am, sat front and centre, resenting and admiring the endeavours of my vaudevillian pals in equal measure. “Bravo!” I cry, “But no fucking encore I beg you…”. This blog is to be my reaction. Not a response and certainly not a review (I quite like having friends, after all). No, this is definitely a reaction. The herd are bleating and I’m joining the shrill chorus Read More
“Francis?” Janice hitched up the folder in her arms, and pushed the door open with her shoulder. “It’s only me. Time to rise and shine.” She stepped into the hall and pulled the door behind her. Why did this house always smell? Francis had care-workers who cleared the fridge, washed the dishes and hoovered the thin carpet, but somehow a wet stink seemed to permeate, unplaceable. It was like sour milk, or the liquid that collects between bag and bin. Janice had a sudden flash of Francis deliberately hiding something rancid somewhere around the flat, his pouchy, greying face set into the gleeful leer she had seen so often. Although he always insisted on leaning on her arm to shuffle Read More
For Redeye the weekends were reserved for video games. His consul of choice was the obscure Nintendo Virtual Boy, an early red on black monochromatic experiment in 3D gaming, which looked like a red turn of the century peepshow box. Redeye was one of the few dedicated players. Today he planned on doing nothing but playing. It was a gray and dizzily day outside so he wouldn’t feel too bad for having “wasted” his time. For nourishment he had a large glass of tomato juice with everything you could imagine inside it: limes, beer, vodka, cheese, olives, tabasco, a dash of extra virgin olive oil, ice, etc. The straw was cut at a 30 degree angle leaving a sharp point Read More
Need to spell anything out on the phone/shortwave radio/Star Trek communicator? Try the Unhelpful Phonetic Alphabet… A is for: Aisle Bee Czar Djinn Eye Faze Gnaw Hour Illicit Jalapeno Knead Llandudno Mnemonic Night Oesophagus Ptarmigan Quinoa Right Shhh Tsunami Ultraism Vial Wrack Xavier Yttrium Zsa-Zsa
Matariki and the love-torn sailor Sun rose regal and high in the sphere sky strong and eager winds spurred to twirl the heavens. Aukai’s crew loaded stone and tools onto his double-hulled wood canoe this day bodes well for several at sea, he thought but his body’s memory sunk into the soft wet warmth of Alaula, his dawn light, roots and earthly delight eager sails filled with powerful gusts Aukai palmed the rock around his neck remembered what Alaula had said I’ll love you until all the dawns are spent I’ll love you in the dark of the ocean I’d fly with the fishes for you Aukai rubbed Alaula’s rock breathed sun and salt left the solid shore his Read More
In the night’s heat a sudden breeze stirs the jungle’s fabric. Fronds sway uneasily and leaves dance; a shaft of moonlight creates deeper shadows amongst the shadows and is gone, leaving darkness in its wake. A dark that has nothing to do with velvet, but crushes and cloys, a steamy weight on your chest. Thunder growls in the distance: a summer storm – or is it the breathy grumble of some wild beast, stalking through the dense under-canopy of vines and shrubs? There are eyes amongst the fronds now, and the dark stripe of stem on stem could almost be… a tiger, on the prowl. The breeze stirs again and you can almost hear the rustle as it moves, Read More
“Thanks for this interview. Our readers are very interested in all things organic.” Janet glanced down the gleaming-white corridor. She knew that the word ‘organic’ conjured up a very different picture in the minds of the subscribers to Renewable World. “Our methods are impeccable – we recycle the majority of our water, our solar panels actually feed excess energy into the national grid, and in the past we used natural biological controls on pests.” Dr Bryan smiled. “Ladybirds. Ideal for removing aphids. But since we really locked down on physical interfaces, very little has been getting in or out. We aim for only two organisms in this entire complex. Humans and tomatoes.” “Physical interfaces?” “Where the outside world meets Read More
and how you can submit your beautiful, but unloved, works